Customers!!

Why do customers make your spleen implode? Or something like that. Why does even a single question from one send shivers up and down your spine?

Because customers are demon spawns.

You have the customers who prefer to give you a twenty dollar bill or higher for a fifty cent item. Because they think of you as a bank, that you're full of money for them to exploit. And when you ask them if they have anything smaller, they sneer and say no. Even though some DO have the change, they just don't want you to have it. You watch your tens and five spots dwindle from the register as you fork over this change to those people. And there's no help from anyone or anything else in the store, to stop this loss of change.

So you quietly hold in the aggression to not try and confront the people about their lack of smaller change. But jail time seems like a better compromise then dealing with this atrocity.

You also get the customers who seem to want to blame you for their mistakes. Remember the saying "The customer is always right." Well I'll never believe that not till every customer can prove that to me. "But it's on sale in this ad here." my reply, "That's next weeks ad." SEE!!
"The money is stuck up in the ATM, and the receipt says it gave me the full amount." My reply, "Well you're suppose to let it fall out on it's own, and not attempt to catch it, and also if you look a the bottom of the receipt, it says it only shows you received this amount."

Then there was the customer who wouldn't take the presidential (early release dollar ones)/Sacajawea dollar coins because there wasn't "In god we trust" on the coin, till I showed him it was on the rounded sides. "But it's not clearly labeled on the coin." WHO THE HELL CARES! Do you really want to put god on dirty money? You know how corrupted these dollars and coins are, what half of them have been used for? And you hope god will save those dollars used to buy drugs or pay off killers? I shall smite thee for using that dollar to slide down that hookers butt crack and not medicine for your brain disease.

Yes people trust god I understand, but what makes a difference if it appears or not on the coin, and in plain view? Omg, do you examine every one to make sure it's there, or you just following along with others who complain cause it's too sunny in their garden?!

Deer Season ... no it's rabbit season!

So another year has crept it's ugly head around. I was hearing rumors of it's return but I laughed them off as superstition. Till I saw them, or thought I did. They hide so well with their surroundings, the only thing giving off their location was the pile of beer cans forming a circle around them. And the occasional belches from nowhere. They waited for me to open up and acknowledge them in their camouflaged overalls. Yep folks it's another Deer Hunting Season.

They'll stand around and tell tall tales to each other about how they scored their deer. Everyone hanging on to the others words as if they were a pile of gold poo. Then they'll chuckle and recant their tale adding in more details then needed on how their perfect target the legendary 30+ pointer was ruined; somehow by another deer half it's size popping up and taking the hit instead.
After their bellys stop vibrating it's gelatin like form, they scratch themselves and then compare guns.

When I finally get information from one, I take him from the pack as the others start into song on the proper way to skin a buck. This one leads me to his Ford Taurus, and I head to the back as he stares at me in the most odd way. I wait for him to come to me and open the trunk of his car but yet he stands motionless near the rear seat, passenger door side. Cautiously he opens the door as if whatever is behind the door will be ready to strike or escape the confides of his car. I venture over to his position as he proudly stands by the opened door for me to look at what he has sprawled out in the child's seat.

It's Bambi of a deer; no wait, it was even smaller then Bambi. This could be Bambi's younger, sickly cousin whose mother only job was to bang her head against trees all day. It's eyes, well eye the other one was hanging out loosely by a single fabric of vein, looked up at me in a sad expression saying "oh my god this guy is pathetic". I told the guy to hold his head in shame, as we returned to the others.

I dread to see the others who brought in their deers, with it's head half destroyed because he felt cool in holding the gun so close to the deer that it could of stuck it's foot in the barrel and said "what's up doc."

Yes another freaking deer season is here.

Final Destination - The movie Theatre

So it was my birthday, but just for one day mind you. I would have to wait a whole year before another one would come around.

Mom was anxious to take me somewhere for it. Oh you're thirty-three we should do something special. Special for you I thought, as you have sucked the life force out of me thirty-two other years why should this one be any different. She likes to see movies as if they are going out of style.

So I decided we would go see a movie. Even though I prefer to curl up in the fetal position and cry myself to sleep. Oh the fun days I had in that position, sometimes people would poke me with sticks and call me nice names. Anyways, looking at the paper for possible targets of my attention to go see. I noticed Final Destination, and thought I liked some of those movies, maybe it was just the 1st one.

But what really caught my attention, was the 3-D part of the title. I thought wow, that will make the hour and half just fly by with fun; as I would gaze up looking for body parts to smack me in the face. Seeing everything in 3-D would make life worth living. Even a 3-D noose sounded appealing sometimes. But who would of guessed my choice in movies would be a disaster.

We sat down just the 2 of us and 2 other people who decided to venture to this movie as well. They must of had the same thought as me, and I laughed and plotted their deaths for copying me. The screen flickered to life with the previews. Those wonderful, wacky previews who gave me a false hope of something good coming to the screen at a predetermined time.

So the movie began like any other, with explosions and ooo's and aaah's from my mind. In 3-D versions of those mind you. So after the 3 minutes of that, my mind went to mush. I was hoping for more, but was left lacking the strong desires of movie magic. Why was I lied to by those words "Final Destination?" Oh how you got me Hollywood, yet again. My body went limp with the dark desires of credits appearing soon.

I looked back to the people behind me, and thought I saw them gouging out the others eyes. But they were playing dentist as I was told by my sex-ed teacher. Never knew guys did that sort of thing with each other. So then I turned to my mom whose eyes were fixated on the low quality of acting. She absorbed every inch of ill-plotted special effects magic. Coming to realize I would never escape this movie till all were killed, I decided to make the best of it and try to enjoy the movie.

..... I want to pull out my brain and throw it against the screen. Riot against the movie projector I say!!